Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A little of this & that

Hi! Me again! Do you ever save stuff, you know for when you don't have anything to blog about? And then forget you have it? And then can't figure out where/when to post it? No? OK, then I'm weird. But we already knew that, lol!!! So here is some mish-mash of stuff I found and liked and wanted to post and now I'm clearing out a bunch of files and am posting it so I can delete it already. Can we say "run on sentence"????
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The Electric Train
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."

She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
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I’m famous! Well kinda-sorta:
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Bella being SUPER cute!
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Some blasts from the past:
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How Many Dogs does it take to Change a Lightbulb?

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
DACHSHUND: You KNOW I can't reach that stupid bulb!
LAB: Oh, me, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
MALAMUTE: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
POODLE: I'll blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can pee on the carpet in the dark.
DOBERMAN PINSCHER: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the sofa.
BOXER: Who cares? I can play with my squeaky toys in the dark......
MASTIFF: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
CHIHUAHUA: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
IRISH WOLFHOUND: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover and . . .
POINTER: I see it! There it is! There it is! There it is! Right there! Can you see it yet?
GREYHOUND: It isn't moving. Who cares?
AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.......
OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
CAT: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs and I am not one of THEM. So, the question is, how long will it be before I get some light in here?
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To all military wives; past, present and future
Loving a soldier is a high price to pay,
loving him truly is hard when he's away.
It's being alone with nothing to hold;
it's being young, but feeling old;

it's having him whisper his love for you;
it's whispering back that you love him too.
There comes a kiss and a promise for more,
as his plane slowly rises to soar;

reluctantly, painfully, letting him go,
while your insides are dying from wanting him so,
watching him leave with eyes full of tears,
standing alone with your hopes, dreams and fears.

It's sending a letter with the stamp upside down,
to a far away love in a far away town.
It's going to church to kneel and pray,
and really meaning the things that you say.

Being in love will foster your dreams,
of that far away soldier your mind fairly beams.
Days go by, no mail for a spell,
you wait for some word to hear that he's well.

Then a letter arrives, and you've given in,
to open his letter and read it with a grin,
yes, he is well and misses you so,
it's filled with the love you wanted to know.

Weeks are like months, and months are like years,
you wait for the day when you'll have no more fears.
Days go by slowly, how many have passed?

Yes, loving a soldier brings bitterness and fears,
loneliness, sadness and despondent years.

Loving a soldier isn't much fun,
but it's worth the price when the battle is won;
and remember he is thinking of you everyday,
he's sad and he's lonely while so far away;

so love him and miss him and hold your head high,
be strong and have faith, wipe that tear from your eye.
It's the high price you pay for loving a soldier…
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Christina said...

WOW Lots of files deleted now huh? Good stuff!

Jenn@mylifewiththecrazies said...

You made my morning with the doggy light bulb one... stil cracking up!

auntrene said...

First I wanted to say Congratulations on being Smoke Free... That is wonderful, Amazing, Fantastic. Keep up the great work.
Thank you also for stopping by my Spring Fling Giveaway for Girl Scout Cookies I will be picking the winner later this morning. Thanks!! Good Luck

Megan R. said...

OMG, the train joke was HYSTERICAL!!! LOVE it!

Anonymous said...

I love the the doggie lightbulb bit!

Hillbilly Duhn said...

LMAO! @ two hour delay see the bitch in the kitchen!!!

Heatherlyn said...

The pet videos were pretty heart-warming. The dog-changing light bulb blurb was pretty funny.

Vickie said...

The first story cracked me up! Ha, that'll teach her!

babyrocasmama said...

"upset about the 2 hour delay, go see the bitch in the kitchen"!!!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!

I read it to my Husband & best friend and they both laughed so hard they had tears in their eyes!

Great post!

Now, exactly HOW did you get interviewed by 5 mins for Mom? That is SO FREAKING COOL!

Congrats my friend!

LadyStyx said...

LOL! Ummmm yeah. Have you been visiting some of my entries? LOL Mostly it happens in the Life's A Stitch area but it's happened more than once in my regular blog (hell-O cover art?). In fact I've got another mish mosh post coming up if I could ever get my butt on my bike, get it the ride done and go upstairs for the day!! Well that and get the other 40+ entries read first....

ChicagoLady said...

Great interview at 5 mins for Mom!

I love keeping emails to use as "filler" posts, when I have nothing interesting to talk about. Sometimes I hold onto them so long, that by the time I get back to them, I one will want to see this, and I delete it. LOL

The Bella is ALWAYS super cute!