So today wound up being "the" day..........the day that starts our longest deployment yet. Our third, your sixth. Every other year for us - and it doesn't get easier for either of us. I'm soooo proud of you Thomas!!!! I know your heart was breaking saying good-bye to Bella when we put her down for nap today; knowing you would be gone before she woke up. Leaving us, for a long time, so that you can do your job, helping all Americans to be safer. So many people are praying for you honey!!! I will copy and paste all the wonderful, encouraging comments from the BB and email them to you.
I did my best to be "brave" for you - then cried a river on the way home. Thank God I didn't have far to drive!! I kept looking out the front window at home.......and then I'd see your truck - OH! HE'S HOME!!! - flashed through my mind for a split second. No, duh!, your truck is out front, right where I parked it!!!!!!! Why do I do that EVERY deployment?!? It's like my head "gets it" but my heart is a bit slower believing it.
Bathtime with Bella was soooo HARD tonight. You always move heaven and earth to be home for that every night. I know it's your favorite time of day: playing with Bella with allllll her bathtoys. Tonight her asking where DaDa went...........reminding her of your "soldier trip, far far away"..........no he won't be home tomorrow......and on it goes. Two year olds have short attention spans, and are easily distracted though. Still, it's the unexpected questions that just pop up and take me by surprise - it's like a twisting knife in my heart. Alex says my "fake smile" is scary looking; gotta work on that.
Kay's called and my bracelet is in...........but they messed it up putting both charms in the MIDDLE, ugh!! So they are doing a rush order to get it fixed. The awesome woman who sold it to me is the one who called, so she knows just how I want it and will make sure they do it right this time (she's drawing them a picture, lol!).
I miss you. You might not even be at Hunter yet, and certainly haven't taken off in any case. Almost six hours.............since when did that turn into a lifetime???? I know this will get easier, soon I'll get more used to you being away. I'll be back in my routine; doing the same things I've always done. But I will always be missing you honey - thinking about you - praying for you. The kids and I will be right here at home waiting for you when you come back home, SAFE & SOUND!!! Remember - you promised!!
I'm going to just turn in early tonight, read a book.....and not cry anymore. Well, that's the game-plan anyway.......
I LOVE YOU THOMAS!!! AND I ALWAYS WILL!!!!
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