KIDS!!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!

Like my week hasn't been stressful enough, right??

While "taking a break" out on the back deck, Isabella showed off yet another new skill - LOCKING THE DEADBOLT ON THE DOOR!!! I tried my best to get her to unlock it because I really didn't want to have to walk around the building to the front. No go.

OK, well shit - around the building I go. Get to the front door. It's locked. I don't have my keys. Bella is inside alone!!!!!

RUNNNNN back, and do everything I can to get her to unlock the door - she's ignoring me while Barney sings on.............like I need another reason to hate that stupid dinosaur?!?!?

No one in my building is home. Run across the street. See one neighbor has his door open. I run in - this is an emergency, no time for knocking and waiting!!!!! He has a phone, but no phone book with the number I need in it. WTF??? People, do you not know where your phone book is????? UGH!!!!!!!! I tell him to call 911 and that I'm going around back again so I can at least see Bella through the window.

My head is pounding........pulse is racing...........

Again I call Bella to the door and tell her to open it. This time I'm using the MOMMY VOICE. The one that says I'm so going to fry your ass if you keep my blood pressure up this high for much longer voice!! She's turning on the knob, but she needs to release the deadbolt. I say move your hand higher............HIGHER!!! Now turn it!!!!! Slight distraction of Barney again.........BELLA OPEN THE DOOR FOR MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear to God she gave me a look like, ok I've had my fun but I better undo this quick...........she unlocks the deadbolt. I open the door and scoop her up. She's ok, not hurt and I'm in charge again.

Then she gets on good smack on the thigh for scaring me half to death and locking me out. I pointed to the deadbolt - NO TOUCH!!!! I think she gets it.........or gets that I'm pissed. Something.

Then I remember that the neighbor has called 911 - shit!! I pick her up again, tell her to be quiet (which she actually does), and run across the street. He sees that I have her and tells the cops it's ok now. I thank him for his trouble (thinking if he'd pick up his house maybe he could find a phone book!! Sorry, can't help my thoughts!!)

I get a spare key, a nail, and a hammer. I make sure I will NEVER be locked out of my own home again!!! Lesson learned.

I tell ya - if Bella and I make it to her 3rd birthday it's gonna be a miracle!!!!!!!!!!