Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Happy 8th Wedding Anniversary!

Eight years ago today, I married my sweet Prince. I was scared to death. Not because I didn't love him, but because I didn't want to fail at marriage - again. I didn't want to put my two children through another bad marriage and painful divorce. This time, it wasn't just me I was risking. And let's face it, marriage is a tough gig.

After separating from my first husband (of 14 years!), I liberally enjoyed dating. I had lost tons of weight and more importantly I rediscovered the real "me" again. All the fun, the spark, my utter SASSINESS was back, and in force. I wasn't looking to get married again anytime soon, because I was enjoying myself and finally being selfish in my own pursuits and pleasures. It.Was.Fabulous!!! And contrary to my ex's predictions, I was one hot ticket, thank-you-very-much!!! But at 35, I also wasn't about to deal with very much B.S. either. Been there, done that. I wasn't about to stand for any games, and I was very honest and very clear about what I wanted and what I didn't. I went on a lot of first dates. I did not go on a lot of second dates.

Then I met Thomas. Our first date was on March 2, 2001. I never dated again.

Thomas, the confirmed bachelor, focused solely on his career and his fun (in that order!), was not only going to get married, BUT was also going to become an instant family man too. The poor man just didn't even have a clue.....thank God!!!!

Thank God NONE of us have a clue actually! If we could see around the bend in life, it's highly likely that none of us would ever have the courage to even get out of bed each morning! So this isn't going to be the typical, syrupy sweet, you-are-the-wind-beneath-my-wings kinda post. Love isn't a fairy tale; it's a choice.

It's a deliberate choice you have to make every day. Did you actually pay attention to the wedding vows when you spoke them??

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer; in sickness and health, forsaking all others, to love, honor and cherish til death do us part."

That is some deep, heavy stuff people!! Some people spend all their time and energy worrying about whether the tablecloths match the crepe paper streamers, that matches the invitations. Tons of time and thousands of dollars spent on planning a wedding, but next to zero amount of time planning their LIVES TOGETHER, or considering their life partner's morals and values!!! But I did think about it. A lot!! And when we got married, it included Alex and Shane too. Because Thomas was not only making vows to me, but to them too. It was a beautiful part of the ceremony and they received rings as well. He made that choice; that commitment.

Looking back over eight years of marriage, we have certainly had our share of highs and lows. Career ups and downs, moves, family drama, deaths, deployments, redeployments, new baby, moves, tough duty assignments, etc, etc, etc. But we survived and triumphed over it all. We met every challenge, faced every obstacle, together. We made the choice.

Thomas, my Sweet Baboo,
thank you for choosing me.

And for deciding to keep choosing
me - every day!


38 comments:

Mira said...

Happy Anniversary!!!!

Mighty M said...

What a heartfelt, lovely post! Happy Anniversary!!! :)

Jenny S said...

Happy Anniversary! I am in tears reading this!

blueviolet said...

That is so beautiful!!!! Happy Anniversary! I'm so glad that you now have your wonderful love!

Anne said...

Happy Anniversary! You know, I usually skim right over posts like this because they tend to be sappy and make love seem like some kind of fairy tale, and that's just not life! Thanks for an honest and beautiful love story.

Cassie said...

Happy Anniversary, Jeannie ;D

Brooke said...

congrats on all your hard work thus far - and may the ones to come head down the "happily ever after" road no matter how hard you have to work at it.

Allyson said...

Happy Annivesary, Jeannie and Thomas!!! You KNOW with a post like that, my comment is going to be long. ;) It's true...a lot of people DON'T think about the actual marriage and the commitment they're making to their partner. Neal always says "we're partners...50/50...we depend on each other...there's no boss." When I got engaged the 3rd time, he was Catholic, so they made us do that whole premarital counseling thing. It forced him to sit down and really think about marriage and then he called it off 6 weeks before. But if you over-analyze, you will never do it because "FOREVER" is daunting. But you take it one day at a time, just like everything else. Not knowing you very well and not knowing Thomas at all, I would still say you're a testament to the love that can exist between two people, through thick and thin, up and down and Subway onions. It's inspiring and sweet and you're not afraid to say "hey...it is NOT all kisses in the park on Sunday mornings!" Sometimes we DON'T like our husbands very much but we always love them and we do choose them...everyday. And they choose us. And that's just marriage. Congratulations to you guys. I hope you do something wonderful today to celebrate. Also?? You have 2 other children?? Poor guys...never get blogged about. ;) Or is that a request?

Michelle said...

When we blended our 2 families, we did the same with the rings.

Yes, love is a commitment. Warm and fuzzies can fade.

Congrats on 8 years!

Christina said...

Well you failed to mention today was your anniversary! Sneak... still love you and happy anniversary!

Intense Guy said...

Happy Anniversary Jeannie and Thomas!!!

Kristina P. said...

Happy anniversary, Jeannie!

Chelsea said...

What a beautiful and honest story. Happy Anniversary!!

And thanks for visiting my blog from SITS (what a great bunch of women in this group!).

Regina said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY and thank you for sharing this special day then and now with us.

Hugs,
Regi

Anjeny said...

Beautifully written, very touching. Happy Anniversary.

Heatherlyn said...

Happy Anniversary! That is so fantastic and well-said. I felt exactly like you did after my divorce and enjoyed being single ... I met my husband a lot sooner than I felt like I wanted to. But the second time around I had a much much better idea what I wanted and needed. Marriage is a big deal (a much bigger deal than a wedding, as you pointed out). I am so happy that yours is working! I think a happy working marriage is the greatest thing in the world!

...::Mrs. Southern Bride::... said...

Happy Anniversary!!! :)

Jenny said...

Congratulations to the royal couple! Wishing you thousands and thousands of happy years, love and magical life together x

Amy said...

Happy Anniversary! I hope you have tons of love and happiness for at least the next 50 years! :)

April said...

What a wonderful post to the love of your life and to the vows you made to each other! Happy Anniversary and may you two have many more years of wedded bliss!!!

Mary said...

I'm giving you guys a WooHoo and HOOOOAAAHHHH! ;o)
Eric too claimed the bachelor status when we first started dating b/c he had just had his heart broken, and I had even referred to him as "mr. right now." And within 2 weeks, he changed his tune, and in another month he said he loved me...then 5 months later we were married!

Marriage isn't a concrete object, ir is ever changing b/c our lives never stay the same. It is also a lifelong career that take constant effort from both parts. You two have figured it out, and I'm SO happy for your entire family!

Garden of Egan said...

Beautiful thoughts! Thank you for sharing them.
He sounds like an absolute dream!
Glad you found him.

MaBunny said...

oh wow Jeannie - that is fantastic! I'm glad you found happiness at last! I hope you and Thomas have many more happy years together.

Frances said...

Happy Anniversary to you both!! Your start sounds like Hubby's and mine. Neither one of us was EVER getting married again, after bad first marriages. God had different plans for us....thank goodness!

Tam said...

OOO What a sweet POST! Have a great day! HMMm YOU know this is my second marriage too. I was married for 10 years the first time and Man you hit home in writing this post! More than you know!!!!!

Have a great day and I hope you guys enjoy some great time together!

Grand Pooba said...

I love your no nonesense approach about love! It's so true! You two are lucky to have found each other!


8 is great!

babyrocasmama said...

That was a great post. Happy Anniversary, you two! May your love grow exponentially with each passing day.

PS: Is is bad that I know that "sweet Baboo" is from Charlie Brown? LOL

Shell said...

Happy anniversary!

Dh and I firmly believe that love is a choice. That makes a huge difference.

foxy said...

Marriage is exactly what you make it and it sounds like ya'll are doing it right!

Happy Anny to you two!

Bree said...

Happy anniversary! And thanks for welcoming me to SITS!

Annie said...

awwww, this is soooo beautiful! Happy Anniversary!!!!

Hugs

Lynn said...

AWWWW Happy Anniversary to you and your hubby Queenie!!!!! HUGS

STILLMAGNOLIA said...

Happy Anniversary....I knew you and I were soul sisters...just did not know why...til today. My story is very much like yours...and I just celebrated my seventh anniversary with the love of my life...it is amazing what you get when you least expect it ...isn't it! Give that wonderful man a hug for me tonight and tell him a blogging friend sent it and is glad he found you!

AliceKay said...

Beautiful post. Happy Anniversary to you and Thomas with best wishes for many more. *hugs*

Janelle said...

Beautifully and honestly put!
Happy Anniversary...wishing you many many more!

Donnetta said...

Happy Anniversary! Isn't it wonderful the turns our lives can take by taking that one leap of faith. :)

Mimi said...

Happy anniversary to you & your real live American hero!

So much of your story reminds me of Chris & I. I had my boys to think about, I got "hot" after my divorce & Chris certainly had no intention of settling down with anyone!

xoxo

LadyStyx said...

Awwww I thought you said no mushies!! *sniffles* That was just too *honks nose* sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!