Thursday, April 16, 2009

De-Stress Thursday

Stress. It's a funny thing, don't you think? It can turn a normal, balanced, otherwise happy person into a crazed, raving lunatic. Let me just give you an example, okie dokie??

Say, for example, hypothetically, that you were a member of a large group of bloggers like SITS. And say that group was celebrating a season, like spring, with day-long giveaways and contests. Sounds fun, right? Exciting?? The chance of winning something super cool? Awesome, right? Like if you wished you could update your blog design, and wanted so many super cool things for it, but couldn't afford the price tag that went with said "super coolness"? What if you were to WIN a gift certificate, and could get super coolness FOR FREE?!?!? How incredible would that be??? Wouldn't you nearly pee in your pants? Wouldn't you whoop for joy? Ahhhh, bloggy goodness at it's finest. Damn Skippy!!!! (cue cherubs singing)

So you pick out your bloggy goodies and what the hell, add a bit more on your own dime and make it just a smashing funfest! You're worth it, right?? So you place your order, and pay your money. (cherubs singing louder!)

Get email back, wait time three weeks. At least. And what do you want - ideas, etc. (one cherub falls off a cloud and another breaks a harp string).

Think long and hard and really visualize what you want. Strive to be creative and original. Come up with a totally fan-damn-tab-ulous idea, and all the details that go with it. Email designer with all your ideas. And wait. Three weeks. (cherubs fall asleep)

And then - AT LAST! - the email arrives! The design is ready for a preview - WOOOO HOOOO!!!! With shaky, excited fingers I click on the link to my vision - my dream - my awesome new blog design.........(screeching record!!!) WTH?? Are you kidding me? Fo real??????? This is what I waited three weeks for? This is what you did with my vision? THIS IS WHAT I PAID FOR WITH NO REFUND AVAILABLE??? (cherubs are SO flipping YOU off!!!)

If you have, say, a 3rd grader (because these days 3rd graders are WAY smarter and more "techie" than we ever were at that age!!), and they were messing around with MS Paint, they could almost assuredly come up with something better than this "professional" did. Seriously. That bad, and not in a funny way. Imagine you are so shocked that you just sit in front of your monitor with your mouth hanging way open and words cannot even begin to describe your emotional mixture of shock, disappointment, anger, disappointment, disbelief and disappointment. I was REALLY disappointed. And for me to be speechless? Almost unheard of.

So. A challenge. Draft an email where you somehow inform said designer that their attempt at designing your dream/vision sucks monkey balls. HARD! But tactfully and diplomatically. Because God forbid you should hurt their feelings and no-talent egos. Right? (insert cuss words here)

And because it is apparent that they are in no way talented, nor connected to you on any kind of creative level, you give them step-by-step-by-friggin'-step directions. You GIVE them a background picture, because somehow a background that could easily have come from Yo Gabba Gabba does NOT fit into your definition of elegance - you know, the shit I was asking for????.... (enhance your calm Jeannie. find your happy place).........You scour the internet for pictures and photos of what you asked for and wanted. You upload those pictures to a website so you can actually write notes ON THE PICTURES, just so there isn't any more "miscommunication". You write a detailed email, with every possible, conceivable detail spelled out. EVERYTHING. You do all the work, just so you can make your vision 100% clear. Push send.


(more crickets)

(fall asleep listening to crickets)

Email returned. And this is a QUOTE folks! I couldn't possibly make this shit up! ahem:
"First, it is important that you realize that I am a blog designer, not an artist/graphic designer/illustrator or whatever it's called. I can create my own images and graphics if they are simple (like the design I created for you); much more complicated, and I need someone else to have created the artwork - like a stock illustration or custom artwork. If I am not capable of creating the images necessary for the design, you are responsible for supplying me with the images you want."

Ever heard of the term "seeing red"?? It's true. It can really happen. And if it does, it's not pretty. At all.

So. Could someone, anyone?, explain to stupid ole me just exactly how you can have a BUSINESS of blog DESIGN if you aren't capable of DESIGNING anything???? Anyone???? How could you take people's money and then not be able to perform? And you have to know that I wasn't asking for the frickin' Sistine Chapel here folks!!! Just something fun and original and uniquely "Jeannie". So now I'm outta $25 bucks. Not the end of the world. Life is full of disappointments. Blah. Blah. Blah.

And what does all this have to do with "de-stressing", anyway??

Because when you are angry like THIS:'s a real stress reliever to come to your blog and rant and/or rave about it! Even if it doesn't have a super cool, original, unique blog design that you spent hours planning and researching for it to give to a no-talent, money-stealing blog "designer" for and all you wound up getting was some blog fodder for your efforts. Yeah, I feel so much better now. (Bitch!!!!) But of course, this is all hypothetical, remember? (Not!!!)


Janna Bee said...

Okay, now you know I want to know who this "designer" is- just so I don't use said "designer". Can you email it to me?

This post is why I have not used a designer yet! how frustrating!
Ugh, Sorry!

April said...

I'm dying to know who it is, too! What a complete shame, Jeannie! I have been very hesitant to try a blog designer myself because I'm fearful that I won't like the end result. So sorry for what happened to you! I know there are many cute designs out there that people have had done...maybe someone can give you a solid recommendation. For me, I just choose to do it on my own.

Anne said...

That SUCKS!!! And what the heck is it that does exactly if she doesn't do any design work? Oh man, I would be so ticked if I had worked so hard and spent the money and then gotten that kind of a response.

Heather said...

THat totally stinks! Isn't there any where where you could report the lack of design?

You shouldn't feel like you have to protect the identity of this person either. If they're not doing what they said they're going to do, everyone should know about it so no one else loses their money.

I'm mad for you. I really am!

Punkn said...

I'd be pissed too. You really need to post their identity. And whatever happened to satisfaction guaranteed? Your blog is pretty enough the way it is. I hope posting your frustration made you feel better - it always does me.

Michelle said...

that does totally suck. I can't afford a blog designer either. Your rant is hilarious, thats exactly how I'd sound. The picture of crazy bunny is awesome! I hope you have a better day today

My Two Army Brats said...

I just had to know who did this so I hopped on over to sits and went back a couple weeks ago and there I saw it "WINNER: QUEANIE JEANNIE!."

It's way to nice of you to not mention the name of the person who's out enjoying your payment for crappy work. I'd sure love to see what they made for ya too!

I like your layout just fine. Actually now that I'm looking you must be fiddling with it cause it's different than it was a few minutes ago!

Amy said...

OH noooo, that is terrible! I remember seeing that you had won something a while back from them and was waiting to see your new design. I have one in the works for 2 months now!!! I sure hope it's not a flop when I finally get it. And I spent at least $50 so far. Uggh!

Christina said...

Well Ok you had a bad bad experiance. But I finally got my internet up and running. So I will be able to catch up!

Heatherlyn said...

This is why I'm a big fan of cutestblogontheblock. Free backgrounds. And no dealing with "real" people. :) I'm sorry about your disappointment. I agree that someone who can't do a design should not be a blog designer. And blogs are a great place to destress!!!! (I think your new background is very nice!)

Grand Pooba said...

Yeah, you must tell us what designer did this to you! Boooo!

Kristina P. said...

What the?!?!? Nice business. I'm sorry it didn't work out. That totally sucks!

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

You must tell - we all want to know. ;)

I would think one would be able to get ones money back if one is not satisfied. Seems reasonable to me.

You have an award waiting for you on my blog. :)

Christina said...

Wow.. So much pressure! All your peeps want to know who the bad designer (I use that term loosly)is now. I'm curious too.

Shame Shame on them. What a rip off! I'm sorry.

Cherubs are SO flipping YOU off... that's hilarious! :-)

The Blonde Duck said...

I would be furious too. I went through three designers before I found the one who did my blog. I've got names, if you want them!

sandy said...

I am so sorry that happened to you! The design does look very Yo Gabba Gabbaish. Yuck!

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

oh jeannie...

I could have downloaded this background from TCBOTB for FREE!

hey...I got your card! Thank you soooooo much! It is right next to the other one you sent me!

It's gorgeous!!!

Go look at The Cutest Blog on the Block.. and you'll see this exact background for free!

I am sooo sorry!

andy said...

donkey balls on the design dude.

my kid could have done better also.

and that rabbit picture? i had to laugh my ass off 'cause my 6 year old woke up with nightmares talking about an evil bunny picture that one of the older kids had shown her on the computer. Apparently it had long teeth and all. she still thinks it is under her bed. awesome.

Melissa Miller said...

Jeannie!!! I am soooo sorry and I feel your frustation. Yikes!
Oh my goodness girl!

Do you like mine?
I think you commented on it when I had it redone.

Please check out "Amber" at "The Shabbee Chick"!
I LOVED her services!!!
She charged $50 for a complete redo thingy and I was so pleased with her and the result. She is super easy to work with.
Did I mention how quick she was...yup, it only took one week from start to finish.
Her link is at the bottom of my blogroll.

Good Luck my friend!
I have faith it will all be okay. :) ~Melissa

Melissa Miller said...

Oops! Her link is at the very bottom left of my blog.

Click on "Portfolio" if you go to her site. :)

Brandy said...

Would it be okay for me to admit I'm a little scared right now? If you feel like that bunny/devil looks, I would hate to be that faux designer.

Jennifer said...

Ummmm, I'd be beatin some ass for my $25 back. Things are hard, times are tough. Give my girls 25 bucks they can make you something all pretty. It might have Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers on it though. :)

April said...

Sweet merciful crap. Just FYI people - this wasn't ME!! LOL...not that it matters...just sayin'.

But man oh man a designer, we know the customer is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS right! If in fact she didn't have the images you wanted...or there was a miscommunication, you get a refund. Period. Not that hard...

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna think on this one.

However, I don't understand customer service related business especially those that rely on word of mouth screwing their customers.


Intense Guy said...

I agree with Punkn, I like your blog layout and graphics as they are - they are nice and pleasant.

Even I, Mr. "Orange Cones are ART damn it!" can see why the castle "art" upsets you.

ChicagoLady said...

Did I miss all the fun yesterday? All I'm seeing are happy monkeys. I'm sorry you had such an awful experience. Your experience is one reason I would be hesitant about having a stranger set up my blog. If it looks terrible, I have only myself to blame.

The monkeys are cute, btw.

♥georgie♥ said...

wow...just wow...

Revka Stearns said...

Jeannie, this is making me absolutely sick. You are wrong on so many counts I don't even know where to begin.

I guess I will start with "NO REFUND AVAILABLE." I specifically and openly offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee and place no limit on revisions.

You know what no-limit revisions means? It means that you get to request as many changes as are needed to make your design dreams a reality. Even if that is a zillion. Even if the FIRST concept is TOTALLY not what you had in mind. That happens. I can't read your mind.

Your directions confused me as I stated - didn't know if you wanted photorealistic, illustrations, or a combination of both. Also, if you didn't know, you were requesting custom artwork. I repeat, I am not an artist. I take images and manipulate/edit/ recombine them to create what clients want. That's what blog designers do. Why do you think so many of us use scrap kits?

I'm sorry that I couldn't make you happy and that I made you mad. That was not at all my intent. I wish that you had been willing to work to help me understand what you envisioned. I wish you had not vented your ire in a public forum when I thought we were in the midst of working this out.

Unfortunately, wishes don't always come true. Good luck with getting your design.

babyrocasmama said...

That is THREE comments by the maker of the HELLoo Kitty castle.

I told you I was psychic! LOL

LOVE the Evil Bunny! Way AWESOME!

And we will get your bloggy fixed. I promise. I will do it for you if I have to.

MUAH! Hugs!

Cassie said...

Wow! I saw the blog design on the next post. Wow. I have no other words!

Anonymous said...

Holy crap! I would be pissed! That's why I took forever to pick out a designer and I also am having April design mine! :)