Queen Lesson 104

Admire Yourself For Who You've Become
* or *
Your Windy Mountain Moment

Let's take a moment and reflect on what we've accomplished so far, shall we? So far we have beaten that Magic Mirror and now look forward to seeing ourselves in it! We have cleaned out our mental closet and given the Mongol Horde new marching orders. AND we have discovered our Queen Voices!! Wow!! That is a lot of improvements!!!

Now it's time to have our very own Windy Mountain Moment.

Have you ever gone hiking before? I have in the past - just enough to realize that I love nature more on TV than in real life, lol!! Well that's not entirely true, but hiking isn't a favorite. But...what makes it all worth it (mostly), is when you reach the peak, and you can see the incredible vistas laid out before you. Wow! What a sense of accomplishment - you made it! And you can get the 'big picture' of your journey and see how each part of the way was connected and lead you to your current destination.

Life is like that too. Sometimes we get so mired down in the details of everyday living, that we forget there even is a 'big picture'. The times that seem so hard, and dark and lonely, are all part of the journey and necessary to get where we're going. When you're on top of your mountain, you can see all that has come before - all the challenges and obstacles and see how much you have overcome to be the successful YOU that you are today! I don't think anyone would ever volunteer for truly tough times. But here's the thing; you wouldn't be the fabulous you that you are today, without them. The best stuff comes from the toughest of times. You know the saying - if it doesn't kill ya, it makes ya stronger!!!

It also gives you perspective. Sometimes the "good things" that we wanted (new relationship, new job, etc) turn out to not be in our best interest or turn out well at all. And then sometimes the "bad things" of life (death of a loved one, lost job, failed relationship), turn out to hold lessons we need, or provide opportunities that would have never happened otherwise. And in every life, the sum pieces of the experiences lived, add up to a beautiful quilt you can surely be proud of!

* Crown Jewel *
What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.
- Colette

Take out your notebooks - it's Windy Mountain Moment time!
Close your eyes, and imagine you are on top of the highest mountain, looking down on your life so far. See it all; see how it all connects. See the things you are most proud of, see the mistakes, see the things you wished you had handled differently, see all the people you have met and encountered along the way. Don't worry about regrets. You're discovering what works and what doesn't. Wasting time worrying about "would've", "should've", "could've" is a monumental waste of time and VERY heavy emotional baggage. Keep the knowledge and lesson, and ditch the experience!

Now, make a list of the things you admire about yourself. Be honest, and give yourself a break! Are you loyal? Are you a good friend? If you have a hard time thinking about what you admire about yourself - think about traits that you admire in others. Do you have them too?? I'll bet you do!

Now, make a list of the traits you'd like to banish. Do you say yes when you really mean no? Are you always late? What are things you no longer wish to be, no longer wish to have in your life quilt??

* Crown Jewel*
One is not born a woman, one becomes one.
- Simone de Beauvoir

Kathy Kinney shares in the book that she lost her father to poor health, and how devastating that loss was to her life and to her self-esteem. She writes that she would give anything, all her money, all her success to have him back in her life alive and well. But life doesn't work that way! But because of her father's death, she was able to go to college and have experiences that would have been denied her otherwise. She could step back and see that out of the very worst of 'bad things' in her life, many, many truly wonderful things came out of it.

And Cindy Ratzlaff shared about how she felt losing her job that she'd had for many years. It was a job that she had really come to hate, and she knew she would be 'down sized' soon, but it still came as a horrible shock when it finally happened. Isn't it amazing how we can think ourselves comfortable and fool ourselves into finding contentment in a bad situation?? And then sit there feeling sorry for ourselves because we lost this crummy job??? We should be celebrating instead! OR, realize we aren't happy and fulfilled and get cracking on fixing the situation instead of waiting for life to do it for us!

* Crown Jewel*
The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.
- Ayn Rand

* Crown Jewel *
Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin

Are you too comfortable in your life over things you KNOW need changing? The status quo isn't good enough for you, Your Majesty!!!!!! You were meant for bigger and better things. Jot down in your notebooks some things you know need some improvements. Never settle, because good enough....simply isn't!

* Crown Jewel *
When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
- Alexander Graham Bell

What are you holding on to that needs to be let go of? Past mistakes? Bad job? Are you wasting a ton of time and energy trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole??? Wouldn't it just be easier to stop, step back, access the situation as it really is (rather than how we wished it were!), and see if there's a better solution?? Phooey on the closed door!! Go find an open one!!!!

From the book:
"Look, we understand that everyone has both challenges and successes on their climb up the mountain. We all have to deal with illness, death, loss of jobs, divorce and money woes. The trick is in not letting yourself be defined as a victim of these events. Stop trying to put labels on your life and definitions on yourself. It's easier than you think. It takes only one good Windy Mountain Moment!"

* Crown Jewel*
Adventure is worthwhile in itself.
- Amelia Earhart

Exercise:
Go HERE, and print out the blank Coat of Arms. Pick four of the most important traits you either want to keep in your life, or add to your life. These will provide the foundation of your future, so choose wisely!!! You can color it in, pretty it up, or just leave it as it is. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you do it, and the put it where you are going to see it - every day!!!

* Royal Proclamation *
Let it be known from this day forward that I have conceived, executed, developed, pioneered, motivated, and created an extraordinary life and I will speak about myself in a positive way from this moment on because I am worth it. I give you permission to admire me even as I take every day to admire myself. So sayeth the Queen.