Saturday, November 22, 2008

Twilight Review

Well, I finally got to see the much awaited Twilight movie today. And while no bad review would have prevented me from seeing it, I'm a FAN!, the bad reviews didn't have it all wrong. Like most movies made from popular books, it will always fall short of the writer's imagination and the reader's fervor. I get that. But really.....this movie could have been a lot better.

Did these people READ THE BOOK?? Edward is supposed to be muscular, blond and bronzed. The actor they chose to portray Edward, Robert Pattinson, is none of the above. He is not hunky, he is not the Edward I read about. He's not cute, he's not sexy, and he's NOT as promised!!! And what's up with his eyebrows anyway??? Manscape dude! It looks like two caterpillars crawled over his eyes and died there. So many people are making a huge fuss about how gorgeous he is. I think people want him to be something he just isn't, and never will be. And as bad of a call he is, it's nothing compared to Jasper. Holy Bad Acting Batman!!! The dude looks like he's suffering from chronic constipation, hemmoroids, and fear, simultaneously. Everyone literally busted out laughing when he first appeared on screen, and every scene after that. Rosealie was supposed to be a blonde, but the actress had to die her hair. She did, but has serious roots. Dr. Cullen looks like a store mannequin, and has the charisma of one. Victoria is supposed to have flaming RED hair; she's a blonde. Jacob was fine, if you could get over the obvious wig he was wearing....badly. They did an excellent job with Bella, Esme, Charlie, Emmet, and Alice.
Grade: C (and it's only this high because of who they got right!!)

Following the book
The scenes that they did have were pretty good, with a huge exception of anything "Jasper" said or did. The incredible views of the Forks, WA area were especially beautiful and just how I imagined them to be. The problem was this was a full, action-packed, long book that they tried to squeeze into a two hour movie. They completely deleted the entire storyline of Bella & Jacob's friendship, Edward leaving her, the storyline of the werewolves in Push, and her friendship with Alice. These are serious gaping holes in the plot!! And they oversimplified the James/Laurent/Victoria encounter to the point that it only vaguely resembles the original. The ending reeks of a sequel but where they will go with it is anyone's guess. Too much has been left out of the first one to have it make any sense!
Grade: D

OK, whomever ran this show needs to be fired!!!! Take their brushes away for forever, and ever!! Oh. My. Gosh. Remember when you first started using foundation? How you probably didn't blend it all that great, so that you had a distinct line under your jaw? So from the jaw up was one color and your neck was a completely different color. Enter Edward. The dude's white pancake makeup was verrrrry poorly applied and damn if his neck wasn't the normal "human" pink color. No joke! It was that way throughout the movie - no improvement or change!!! HELLO??? Doesn't anyone pay attention to the dailies???? And his lipstick. I just don't dig a dude in lipstick. I get that they were trying to alter his lipcolor, but damn! Perfectly lined purple lipstick. Ugh! Bella's makeup was the opposite - it looked like she didn't have any!!! Did they use it all on Edward? Luckily she's a beautiful girl and it sort of worked for her, except for that lavendar smudge on her upper lids, sans mascara. MY Bella could be more artful for crying out loud!! About the only thing they did well was the sun scene when Edward "sparkled". That was sheer perfection and just as I had pictured it. But in two hours, 30 seconds doesn't save the makeup team.
Grade: F

So in all honesty, this movie really did rate a D. Being a fan, I will still see the next movie and hope for the best. I just wish they hadn't gone "cheap" on this one and they would have made more money and had happier fans. If fans will see 3 hour movies for other things, Potter or Lord of the Rings for example, then they should have given more to this endeavor. Worth it? I say yes, because I'm not likely to miss anything Twilight, no matter what. My neighbor was pissed because she said it was too different from the book and she thinks Edward is "one hot mess". And that's NOT a good thing for those of you not from the south!

I did snag a super cool button while there. Me and my big city girl mouth asked the older gentleman taking our tickets if I could have the Twilight button he was wearing. He just smiled and just said sure thing!!! My neighbor was PISSED because she didn't have the balls to ask and I DID!!! Nothing ventured, nothing gained right??? (ha ha TIKI!!!) And everyone oooohed and ahhhhed at my bracelet too while we were waiting for the movie to start. I told Thomas it wasn't tacky!!!! Men! So this is my two cents on the movie. What did YOU think??


Kristina P. said...

Wow! A D from you? I never would have guessed.

I've heard it feels very low budget.

I am going to see it next weekend. I need a good laugh.

Vickie said...

Oh, I felt that way too with the sequel to "Bridget Jones", which was based on the second book. No way. It was disappointing. I was looking forward to a certain scene and it never happened in the movie.

ChicagoLady said...

Since I haven't read the book, do you think I should see the movie? Will my impression be better of the movie for not reading the book? Should I read the book after the movie? Right now, I MIGHT have a chance to see the movie next weekend, but then I still have Bond to see too. Being sick messed up my whole movie watching schedule!

Anonymous said...

I know, movies never live up to the book, but I'm so excited to see it!!! I'm going tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! I'm so jealous you already saw it!

MaBunny said...

Wow , the twilight sereies is on my list to read next, maybe i WON'T go see the movie so as not to ruin my excitement over reading the book!

SgtSudsWife said...

Well now I don't feel so bad about waiting for the DVD. It does make me very sad though. I am looking forward to seeing Edward sparkling in the sunlight.

babyrocasmama said...

I was the same way about "Interview with the Vampire" (Anne Rice)! I have read every book, know them backwards, forwards & sideways so going to see the first movie, I already KNEW they were going to screw it up. Not to mention the cast choice was just BAD! My man, my Rick Springfield (Hubba Hubba) was supposed to play Louis & fit Anne Rice's description PERFECTLY, but they chose BRAD PITT! BRAD PITT????? It was just wrong.

Then for Lestat, they choose Tom Cruise (WTF????)! Not anywhere NEAR the description in the book. Not even a little close.

The movie did keep to plot & Kirsten Dunst as Claudia was spot on. But then there was "The Queen of the Damned" was AWFUL!!

They rewrote Vampire history & made it into some weird 90's music video/Matrix hybrid Frankenstein thing! I was YELLING at the screen. I even threw popcorn at it. I was disgusted.

Even Anne Rice herself volunteered to write the script or consult, but the studio refused. Needless to say, this movie was a colossal failure!

So yeah, unless the author is involved with the script & production of the movie, it's gonna likely suck the Big Kahuna!

PS: i took the word verification off..happy now??? If I start getting spammed again you're in trouble!

Marrdy said...

I am so glad I stopped by and read your review. I have heard so many semi bad reviews it's nice to hear something uplifting!!

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

Hi! I found you via SITS and thought I'd pop by and say Good morning. My daughter saw Twighlight last night and loved it (but she's 14) I haven't even read the books, so I couldn't even begin to question. Enjoy your Saturday!

Christina said...

LOL well ok maybe i should go see the movie before the book so as not to be disappointed?
Maybe they didn't think the movie would do well enough to spend the dough? Who knows but thank you for the I won first thing when I got up. Took me a min to catch on!

Totally Rawkin Designs said...

I LIKE grits!!LOL! Anywhoo I read the books and had no intention of going to see the movie until it hits our dollar movies. I like grown up Vamp stories (TRUE BLOOD baby...all day). But your review is making me wanna netflix it.

Mary said...

Sorry you didn't like it. I found myself laughing more than anything else...but I liked it overall.
They even came out and said it was low budget...we'll see if they do another one

Melodie said...

I totally agree with everything you said here! Jasper freaked me out! He reminded me of Edward Scissorhands. Robert Pattinson is NOT Edward at all! Period. And Rosalie is supposed to be incredibly beautiful and that girl who played her wasn't.even.close.

AND there were just some flat out CHEESY parts in the movie that made me want to vomit.