Wednesday, January 30, 2008

He's gone again...

Life is funny sometimes; you just never know what's coming up around the corner. And that's probably a good thing too, or else we might not ever come out from under our bedcovers in the morning! But one thing is a certainty for everyone: You are either in the middle of a crisis, about to go into a crisis, or you're just coming out of one. Sometimes they're big, sometimes they're small, but no one is immune.

On January 12, 2007, Thomas' mother died. I didn't hear about it until late Sunday night, and as fate would have it (yeah fate and the Red Cross majorly buffaloing things up!), it fell upon me to tell Thomas. He knew she was dying, but death is still a shock. It was hard to be the one to tell him, but I'm glad it was me and not someone in his chain of command. I just wish it didn't have to be over the phone, half a world away.

He was given emergency leave and spent two weeks home with us. Unlike his long anticipated leave last Thanksgiving, this wasn't a "fun" trip. As dreadful as a woman and "mother" as she was, she was still his mother. (sort of) I think he was mourning what "could have been" and what "SHOULD have been", more than the person she actually was. So that was a complex psychological mess he needed time to deal with. And if that weren't enough, his "sister" (by name only!), wreaked all kinds of havoc by stealing anything that wasn't nailed down at his mother's house, regardless if it was willed to someone else or not. More drama, that even now has only begun to be dealt with.

So all that PLUS lil Miss Bellaboo thought this would be an excellent time to just forgo any kind of sleep! Stress + lack of sleep............yeah fun times, NOT!! But you know what? We still had love. We bickered and fought (lack of sleep talking), but we had love. We couldn't agree to a tv show or movie, but we had love. We couldn't agree to eat in or eat out, but we had love. We disagreed on what to do about his "sister", but we had love.

No matter what crisis or tragedy or problem has come up in our marriage, we've done what we always do. We face it head on, together, and with love. Sometimes that means agreeing to disagree. Sometimes that means realizing the other is a stoopid, but loveable, ass. Sometimes that means stopping and thinking that maybe, just maybe, the other might be right. Sometimes it means playing some acey-deucey and the winner gets to pick! But it's always with love and respect.

So we loved alot, and we bickered some. Bottom line is that life happens, and we're still together, still crazy in love and still know we are each other's bestest best friend. Any couple can get through the easy, happy times. It's the testing of the hard times that makes or breaks couples. And I know that we are invincible!! Now.....just to get through these next four to five months and this stinkin' deployment will be over with!!!!!

I love you Thomas!!
Soldier's Kiss

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am glad Thomas was able to come home to you and the children. However, it is very unfortunate that is was for his mother funeral. What a terrific write up you wrote about getting through tough times and still having love.